I swear the days get longer and longer the further you progress through the week.
I am swimming in essays. I'm pretty much 100% sure that starting an essay the lesson before it's due is not how it's meant to be done. However I did prove to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to... no, I didn't finish it in time and yes I said I'd 'forgotten it'.
If I had £1 for every time I used that excuse I'd be a millionaire.
Every year, I make myself a pact promising that I will do my homework and assignments on time and not one year yet have I ever achieved this.
Now you may remember yesterday I told you about Rory (by the way this is a fake name just in case someone figures out it's me) and I may have purposely forgotten to mention that he's kinda almost dating this other girl. Not only is she just another girl but she's someone I know. Now, in a way they are perfect for each other as they are both as average as average people on average tablets get. Neither of them have any redeeming features they are pure averagenessnessness (other than her extremely attractive sister, even me straight as a straight person can admit to this). Do I pursue that path or don't I... Maybe he's been friend-zoned as they have been talking since Easter, ages ago right. Still nothing has happened. Surely it isn't questionable, must have been. Friend-zoned... surely. Please? For once let my fortunes be good, let me be the one which gets the guy.
My desperation is very apparent now... moving on.
I think throughout my life I have merely been indoctrinated by rom-coms and now believe that the love in these films exists...
Well, I have proof.
COLLIN.*Cue soppyness* Today he messaged me and every time he does my heart melts... Currently I my trip to America for yes, just under a WHOLE TWO YEARS time (I'm a student I have to save). In America I will meet him, this guy, the one I've been talking to and fallen in love with. I will meet him? Seems a love story upside down right? I'm meant to meet him first then fall in love, well that's what we've been lead to believe. Well NEWSFLASH, it's the modern world now... we like to change shit up a little.
BUT...Can I cope with not hearing from him for at least 5 days at a time? I sometimes feel like it's me making the effort. I used not to be, it used to be ALL him but... not any more. There's always that question in the back of my mind, what if? What if... there's another girl there too? What if... he doesn't mean anything he's saying?
How am I supposed to know? Well, I'm not and that's it... it's the luck of the draw.
I told him today that the next conversation will be initiated by him and i won't start a conversation until he does... Finally I feel I can take some control.
I hope it remains... maybe tomorrow I shall enlighten you all on my wonderful (or not so wonderful) family life.
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