Wednesday 25 November 2015

Paris, but what about the rest?


I was watching and reading of the horrific happenings in Paris this last week and how so many innocent lives were lost, and just thinking of how this is happening every single day of our lives yet due to it finally encroaching on our western bubble of safety it is finally front page news. I had friends visiting Paris at the time but aside from this it was the story of one man which really struck me hard as an incredibly family oriented person, as he lost a member of his family in every atrocity which occurred that day. I saw a poem by Karuna Ezara Parikh which just reiterates my point to perfectly and so eloquently:

'It is not Paris we should pray for.
It is the world. It is a world in which Beirut,
reeling from bombings two days before Paris,
is not covered in the press.
A world in which a bomb goes off
at a funeral in Baghdad
and not one person's status update says "Baghdad",
because not one white person died in that fire.
Pray for the world 
that blames a refugee crisis for a terrorist attack. 
That does not pause to differentiate between the attacker 
and the person running from the very same thing you are.
Pray for a world
where people walking across countries for months,
their only belongings upon their backs,
are told they have not place to go.
Say a prayer for Paris by all means,
but pray more,
for the world that does not have a prayer
for those who no longer have a home to defend. 
For a world that is falling apart in all corners,
and not simply in the towers and cafes we find so familiar.'

I am lucky enough to write this from my warm house in a country not directly affected by war and strife yet there are people affected every single day elsewhere. I understand how truly awful the Paris attacks were and how so many people have visited and therefore find it more relatable but there is a huge need for focus on the reality of so many situations. I am not pretending I'm perfect and I can do nothing but agree that it is so entirely impossible to let these atrocities consume our lives and that there is also a need to move on but pray for them, think of them, offer wishes and greet these people running in fear from everything they've ever known, their lives, their families dead or alive in an attempt to live another day, avoid this negativity thrust upon us and thrive in this international 'one' that we are becoming.

I know this is slightly different to what I normally do, believe me I know, but I seemed to find that there was nothing more suitable to write as of now than this.

Saturday 31 October 2015

I don't know what to say...

I guess what's sad is how I completely forgot this existed.

For those of you that care and those that don't a lot has changed, some good, some bad. Since October 2013... 2 years ago to the month.

In the following year of 2014 my Dad's health began to deteriorate rapidly, he had terrible lungs all along, really nothing special due to a disease but from the start to the end his lungs deteriorated to about 28% capacity and now he's on oxygen 24/7 they tried to stop the progression with chemo and various other treatments but right now the best that's possible is the deterioration plateauing. He still keeps in great spirits even though he is no longer fit to work and inspires me every single day.

In other news, I failed my first year in college so retook it and got declined my application for head girl. In my retake year I got voted in chairperson of the sixth form committee and now I've finally made it to my final year of college and I finally got my head girl position.I'm appreciating every single day of my education and am so determined to succeed this year.

Earlier in the year I started seeing someone who in fact told me they loved me then after sleeping with me decided I was clearly not the one for me. He left, with my virginity. Something I will never have back, but will never regret for at the time it was what I wanted, what felt right, even though I now know he wasn't right for me.

The 'Collin' I was so infatuated with back in October 2013 and I do occassionally speak as a matter of fact and I still wonder what could've happened had he been nearer. However, not so much of late. As recently I got myself a boyfriend. I know, me a boyfriend. The day I never thought would come. Not only is he the first person who is just on my bloody wavelength all the time, but he gets me, he adores me just as much as I do him and I can honestly say I have never been in love with someone to the extent I love my Luke.

I hope I don't look back on here in years to come and find that he wasn't the one I would end up with because I can truly invisage my life with him, every aspect.

I'm going to try and keep you updated because I forgot how cathartic this blog really is for me.

Good night,
The girl in a dream world.

p.s. Happy Halloween....